Gabbs’ Random Thoughts

• I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some midlevel overnmental functionary  with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.
• I’m not in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!  I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T or Marilyn Manson sang.
• I think owning a gun doesn’t make you a killer.
• I believe it’s called the Boy Scouts for a reason.
• I don’t think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.
• I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you’d better do it in English.
• I don’t use the excuse “It’s for the children.” as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions.
• I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.
• I think that being a student doesn’t give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster.  In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4-7 years of college, you haven’t begun to be enlightened.
• I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God.
• My heroes are John Wayne, the Simpsons, and whoever canceled “Dr.Quinn, Medicine Woman.”
• I don’t hate the rich.  I don’t pity the poor.
• I know wrestling is fake and I don’t waste my time arguing about it.
• I think global warming is a big lie.  Where are all those experts now, when I am freezing my ass through a long winter? 
• I’ve never owned a slave, or was a slave; I didn’t wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt; I haven’t burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so  shut- the-#$%!-up already.
• I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches.  And where does he get his money.  And why is he always part of the problem and not the solution.
• I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you’re running from them.  I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you are breaking the law, regardless of what color you are. 
• I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don’t want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.
• I hate those bastards standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap or trying to guilt me into making “donations” to their cause.  These people should be targets.
• I think if you are in the passing lane, and not passing, your license should be revoked, and you should be forced to ride the bus until you promise to never delay the rest of us again.
• I think beef jerky could quite possibly be the perfect food. 
• I believe that it doesn’t take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.
• I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don’t pretend they are a political statement. 
• I think Dr. Seuss was a genius.
• I’m neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.
• I believe if she has her lips on your Willie, it is sex, and it is sex for both of you.  This even applies when you are President of the United States.
• If all these beliefs make me a BAD American, then yes, I’m a BAD American.
• If you too are a BAD American, please forward this to everyone you know.
• We need our country back!  NOW!!!

I thank you. 

George Carlin

I do not know where this came from, but I did not write it.
READ TO THE BOTTOM FOR QUOTE OF THE MONTH BY JAY LENO. IF   YOU DON’T READ ANYTHING ELSE—VERY WELL STATED.

To all the kids who survived the 1930’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s!! 

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. 

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn’t get tested for diabetes. 

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking. 

As infants &  children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags. 

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat. 

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. 

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. 

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank Kool-aid made with sugar, but we weren’t overweight because, 

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING! 

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. 

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K. 

We would spend hours   building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes, After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem. 

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo’s, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD’s, no surround-sound or CD’s, no cell phones, no personal computer! s, no Internet or chat rooms……. 

WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them! 

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. 

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. 

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes. 

We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them! 

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! 

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law! 

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! 

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. 

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL! 

If YOU are one of them CONGRATULATIONS! 

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives  for our own good . 

While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were.

The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:
‘With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?’ 

For those that prefer to think that God is not watching over us…go ahead and delete this. 

For the rest of us…pass this ON!